Hey everyone! Hope you’re having a fabulous week. Mine’s been pretty busy, but that’s pretty much the norm nowadays, isn’t it?
So one of my goals this year was to be more honest with others and myself, and creating this goal caused me to think about what it means to really be honest. I mean, where is the boundary between being mean and being honest?
And so, I’ve decided that when one is being honest, there is no possible way to be mean. You could absolutely be perceived as being mean in the moment, but truly you are not being mean if you are being honest. And anyone who says something in a mean way is not being honest. Honesty and meanness are two separate entities.
When someone is being honest, it normally comes from good intentions. They don’t like your outfit? They want to save you from embarrassment. They don’t like the food you made for the party? They don’t want you to serve food everyone won’t eat because it tastes so bad. Honesty is a good thing, and it’s a form of kindness if done correctly. It’s an expression of warranted opinion or even an expression of opinion in a situation where the opinion needs to be said.
Meanness, however, often tries to hide itself under the umbrella of honesty, and excuse itself for a “hey, I’m just being honest” phrase. Meanness is not honesty. There are ways to express opinions without being mean or rude. “Your outfit looks like a cat chewed it up, spit it out, and threw up on it.” That’s mean. The opinion could’ve been expressed simply as “I don’t like that outfit – it’s not a good choice for you.” Meanness, when masking itself as honesty, is also often unsolicited. In my opinion, people do not require my opinion all the time and my opinion is also not always required. Before you share your thoughts ask yourself:
- “Is what I’m saying helpful and constructive?”
- “Is what I’m saying necessary?”
- “Is what I’m saying important?”
If you answered no to any of these, chances are that your honesty is not required nor will it be taken the right way. Sometimes thoughts need to be kept to yourself and expressed in an environment where the people you are surrounded with will take the honesty better. Having a filter is important, and knowing how to deliver criticism is important. Framing an honest opinion with a positive perspective usually allows for the honesty to be taken better by the recipient.
Also, sometimes brutal honesty is important and necessary in certain situations, or its the only option that will be the most appropriate. Finding a balance between expressing your opinion with a positive frame and being brutally honest is an important skill to learn.
The boundary between being mean and being honest is often blurred, and it’s different with each person you interact with. Figuring how much and what kind of honesty people around you can handle is crucial to your relationships.
When being honest: Make sure what you are saying is genuine, truthful, and necessary. ❤
That’s all for today! Do you agree with me? Let me know. Be honest! 😉
Like the new logo? 🙂